Generations of black women playing the roles of mother, partner, healer, leader, and muse set the groundwork for this expectation.  The expectation to be “rock”. From watching our mothers and grandmothers work multiple jobs, tend to the household, raise children, be a dutiful partner, or do it alone, most of us have learned that we must be everything, all at once, all the time. The rules of the mothers then fall onto the eldest daughters who are expected, by default, to help keep the family afloat. Through long nights babysitting, sacrificing playtime, and taking on a handful of chores, the daughters learn that they must be strong too. Passing the torch of strength, survivalism and D.E.Y. (Do everything yourself) has become an unhealthy tradition amongst black women.